It's really hard to understand a lot of things in the world. There's too much depth and understanding needed to meet at common grounds. I honestly would give anything to have a resolve in my life and be content forever, but it's really dumb to think that way because it's impossible to be content as a species that always wants and needs and has desires 'til they die.

Long story short, it really sucks when you lose something for no reason, no apparent fucking reason.

Addiction is a bitch, it's a hard habit to break and it's really hard to fall out of patterns if you don't know how.

Things always end too soon. It doesn't matter what it is, materialism happiness or happiness otherwise; it will not last forever.

Sympathy is for the weak. I hate when people look at me and feel sorry, 'cause I don't give a fuck what you think and the last thing I need is your pity. This is just a general statement, and pretty much has nothing to do with anything.

I hate when you put a lot of effort into something, and it doesn't work. You can't fix everything, no matter what. I wish I had no heart, I wish I didn't have the capacity to give a shit about anything at all. I used to be a person who could kill a baby and giggle about it. I felt after I got to know what love felt like I couldn't live without it. It's a good feeling.

When you remember a scent shit hurts a lot more. I love scents. I'm addicted to living in the past and the memories of scent drive me to insanity. I love the smell of my blanket to the point where I'm immobile and I couldn't live the rest of my life without that scent of my dried spit. I suck my finger as well, how childish. I love the scent of my Ex, to the point where when I smell that particular scent I pretty much go through memories of bittersweet tendencies I had with her. I would kill to smell her one more time.

I got distracted.

Anyways I don't understand myself and I need a lot of help. See ya.